Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The Importance of MilSO Sisters
I am taking a break from school (hurray!) to finally convert this post from thoughts floating around in my head to a *hopefully* comprehensible post - it's something that I feel absolutely every military spouse needs to hear as they embark on this journey. The whole concept really hit me yesterday. I'm not meaning to go all depressive and oh being a military spouse is soooooo the toughest job in the military! on you, because I will tell it to you straight: You are just along for the ride, you ain't got nothin' on the soldiers in combat zones overseas. Now kindly sit down and shut up. K thanks bye.
That doesn't make being a military significant other any easier though. To boot, when going through a PCS, you feel like literally nobody really knows how you feel. Sure, your spouse has had to uproot their lives just as you have, but they have the constant stability of getting up and going to work each morning. They are always around people and can always meet and make new friends simply because they are placed in that environment. We, on the other hand, are at home all day every day (sometimes breaking free into the real world for a Starbucks run) and it gets dang lonely! Your spouse has already gone through separating from his or her family through the time spent away at basic training and tech school, but the feelings are all new for us: I feel like my husband really doesn't understand how I feel right now. When I am very snappy and almost bipolar, it isn't because I have mental issues: It's because there are so many different emotions running through my body that I truly believe I can't handle it - or my body can't at least. How do I even start mapping out all of the emotions I feel on a regular basis? Sad because I miss my family. Worried because I wish I could be there during the turmoil they are all facing right now. Frustrated because I have no friends here to vent to. Socially awkward because I can't tell you the last time I struck up a conversation with someone my age other than my husband. Lonely because I feel like Hubby just doesn't get it. Isolated because none of my friends or family are in (or have ever been in) this situation. Overwhelmed because I am supposed to be the adult now and I don't feel ready for that. So where do you turn? When you feel like no one understands you, why not go to a community of people who do get it, people who know exactly how it feels to have every single one of those emotions pulsing through your veins within a matter of a few minutes.
I'm completely convinced that I would be a wreck and a half if it weren't for the military spouse communities out there: Whether it is an ESC Facebook page for the base your spouse works at or a Twitter community of #MilSOsisters. We need that interaction with other women who know exactly what we are feeling. Women who have been there, done that, and gotten the t-shirt. Women who are fighting through the same things we are. Women who are struggling, women who are wanting to give up, women who are just as lonely as we are.
There are tons of resources out there to get you plugged into a community of military spouses (maybe even ones in your area), and I strongly encourage everyone to do so. Whether it is through Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, a forum, or even a meeting on base - get involved and participate in these groups on a regular basis: We all have so much to offer each other whether it is support, encouragement, a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on. No one will understand where you are coming from like the ones who have already been there.